本期题目:
写一封正式的信件,邀请一位记者参加发布会,字数在120-140左右。
信件须包含以下五个要点。
1.产品名称
2.产品发布会地点
3.这一活动的日期和时间
4.活动计划的一些具体内容
5.回复的最后期限
首先,写商务信函的具体格式和要求如下:
1.写信人的地址;2。收信人地址;3。参考 注:一般商业信函中有的一个注解,通常包括信函签字人和打字人的姓名首字母缩写,有时候也有部门名称的缩写,这样以备存档和查找方便。4。 日期;5。格式化的开头;6。标题;7。正文;8。结束语;9。签名;10。姓名及职位;11。附件
请大家参照格式,查看自己的作文格式是否正确。
网友作文:
1. gracezlq[北极星1]
Dear Sir or Madam:
I[北极星2] am writing to invite you for a new mobile telephone release comference.There will be a New Product & Trends Presentation in Qinhua Saloon at 9 o'clock on Saturday morning.Our manager will present and answer your[北极星3] questions.
Please inform us before Friday this week so as to facilitate our arrangements in advance.
Looking forward to your reply
Faithfully,
XXX[北极星4]
2. queen0452
Dear Sir[北极星5] ,
It's very kind for you to read this mail[北极星6] .
I'm writting to invite that our company***will hold a ship promulgation meeting at Guomao Hotel at 3:00pm 30th June.We will introduce that our company product---ships,include ship types and specification and analyze the ship development futrue[北极星7] .
If we have the honour to take your time, please reply this mail before 28th June.
Thank you very much and best[北极星8] regards.
***CO.LTD
Sales Department
***
3. applegreenjh
Dear Mr. Simth,
I am writing to invite you to take part in[北极星9] our new product Model 123 printer announcement event, which will be held on the banquet hall of China Grand Hotel.
On[北极星10] the event, the printer's functions will be descibed in detail, and you will have chance to experience yourself on the new product. And there is a cocktail party in the evening. Please pay attention to the following notes:
Place: on the 3rd floor,the banquet hall of China Grand Hotel
Time: 15:00 on July 4, 2008
Would you please fax me a reply before July 2 in case of your seat[北极星11] .
Looking farward to your prompt reply and expecting your attendence. [北极星12]
Best regards[北极星13] ,
Applegreenjh
4. 蒙小蒙
Dear Brian,
I represent the D&G Electronics Company in HongKong, and invite you to attend our new product –multifunction watch press, which will be held on Tuesday, 1st July. The latest product of this press is a new-model and unique watch, not as normal as others[北极星14] , whose functions have games ,in particular, mp3 & digital player. We believe such a product would lead another fresh trend in market. If you could present in the press, please fill up the VIP card enclosed by return before Saturday,28th June.
We look forward to your attendance.
Best wishes[北极星15] ,
Jolene
[北极星16]
5. evelinefei
Dear Sir or Madam:
We would like to invite you to an exclusive presentation of our new product - duct former machine. The presentation will be held at Hailan Hotel, at Saturday ,on July 12, 2008. There will also be a reception at[北极星17] the same day.
Sanjing Technology Co. Ltd. is a leading producer of high – quality. As you will know, recent technological advances have made increasingly affordable to the public[北极星18] .
The presentation will be held from 9:30 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. During that time, we wii show you the advantage of this machine, also show you how to operate the machine .After the presentation, we will arrange the dinner for you[北极星19] .
Please reply the invention until at Tuesday ,on July 8, 2008. We look forward to seeing you at Hailan Hotel on Saturday
Sincerely yours,
Lisa
PR manager
evelinefei@***.com
Enclosure: reception
[北极星1]格式欠缺。
[北极星2]最好开头可以有一句:With reference to your letter of the 15th this month, 或者:I am very honored to invite you to attend the ….因为如果完全没有之前的业务咨询或者往来,发出这样一封邀请信会比较唐突,换个角度想想,你要是记者,会接受这样一个突如其来,没有任何先兆和信息的邀请信么?
[北极星3]回答什么问题,可以用enclosure 的形式体现,因为字数限制。
[北极星4]格式不对
[北极星5]补充格式
[北极星6]这句话太谦卑了,没有必要。去掉。
[北极星7]飘红的部分,语法结构有问题,商业信函的特征就是干练,精确,完整,一语中第,如果长句写不好,就放弃,改为短句。Invite you to attend our release conference at …. 第二句:we will launch a new product-- *** ship. 第三句:all the information about the ship such as type, specification, and quality would be presented.
[北极星8]如果这是一封正式的商业信函,如果你不是和对方很熟悉,建议换掉这个结尾吧:sincerely yours 是个不错的选择!
[北极星9]换成:attend/present 都可以。这个词组一般指群众集会型
[北极星10]During
[北极星11]For reserving/booking.
[北极星12]好句子,回归本色。
[北极星13]Yours faithfully
[北极星14]废话,前面用了unique, 这里就不要再用了。
[北极星15]问题同上,格式和称谓。
[北极星16]补充格式
[北极星17]On
[北极星18]Enjoyed high public awareness.
[北极星19]口语化太明显了。另外信函中的句子很多会使用被动语态的。改为: advantage and operation would be presented and there will be a dinner afterwards.