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IfLincolnHadUsedaComputer(如果林肯使用过计算机……)
1.Theadforasoftwareprogramcaughtmyeye.Itsaid,"Writebetterin30daysoryourmoneyback."
1、有一则计算机软件的广告引起了我的注意。它说:“要是30天之内不能提高你的写作能力,就将原款退还。”
2.I'mfamiliarwithcomputerprogramsthatcorrectspellingthroughtheuseofbuilt-indictionaries.Buttheadforthisprogramsaidthatitwouldcorrect"stylisticerrors".
2、我熟悉那些通过使用内建字典来纠正拼写错误的计算机程序。但是,这则软件广告却说,它能纠正“文体错误”。
3.Style.That'sabigpartofwhatwritingisabout.SoIstoppedbythecomputerstoretogiveitatestrun.Iwantedtoseewhattheprogramwouldsayaboutoneofmyfavoritepiecesofwriting.
3、文体对于写作关系可是很重大的。因此,我在那家计算机商店停下来,准备试一试这个程序。我想看一看它会对我所喜爱的一篇文章说些什么。
4.Itypeditintothecomputer.Thenthecomputerprintedoutacritique.Hereitis:
4、我把文章输进了计算机。接着,计算机屏幕上显示出了一段评语。下文便是:
5.Fourscoreandsevenyearsagoourfathersbroughtforthonthiscontinentanewnation,conceivedinLiberty,anddedicatedtothepropositionthatallmenarecreatedequal.[Longsentencescanbedifficulttoreadandunderstand.Considerrevisingsothatnomorethanonecompletethoughtisexpressedineachsentence.Passivevoice:"arecreated."Considerusingactive.Usuallyaparagraphshouldhavemorethanonesentence.]
5、87年前,我们的先辈在这个大陆上缔造了一个新国家。她以自由为立国之本,坚决奉行所有的人生来平等的原则。
6.Nowweareengaged[Passivevoice:"areengaged."Considerusingactive.See"Help"keyformoreinformation.]inagreatcivilwar,testingwhetherthatnation,oranynationsoconceivedandsodedicated,canlongendure.Wearemet[Passivevoice:"aremet."Considerusingactive.]onagreatbattlefieldofthatwar.Wehavecometodedicatedaportionofthatfield,asafinalrestingplaceforthosewhoheregavetheirlivesthatthat[Deletedoubledword.]nationmightlive.Itisaltogetherfittingandproperthatweshoulddothis.
6、目前我们正在进行一场伟大的内战,这场战争正考验我国,或者任何在自由中诞生并奉行上述原则的国家能否永存。我们在这场伟大战争的战场上聚会。把这战场之一角奉献给那些为国家生存而捐躯的人们,作为他们的最后安息之地。我们完全应该这样做。
7.But,[Use"But"sparinglytostartasentence.]inalargersense,wecannotdedicate,wecannotconsecrate,wecannothallowthisground.Thebravemen,livinganddead,whostruggledhere,haveconsecratedit,faraboveourpoorpowertoaddordetract.Theworldwilllittlenotenorlongremember[Anadjective"long"isusuallynotfollowedbyaverb"remember."Youmayneedtouseanadverbialformof"long"oracommabefore"remember."]whatwesayhere,butitcanneverforgetwhattheydidhere.Itisforus,theliving,rather[Thiswordusuallyaddslittleandshouldbeomitted.]tobededicatedheretotheunfinishedworkwhich["That"isalmostalwayspreferredinthissituation.Ifyoureallymean"which,"thenitusuallyneedstobeprecededbyacomma,See"Help"keyformoreinformation.]theywhofoughtherehavethusfarsonoblyadvanced.Itisrather[Thiswordusuallyaddslittleandshouldbeomitted.]forustobeherededicatedtothegreattaskremainingbeforeus:thatfromthesehonoreddeadwetakeincreaseddevotiontothatcauseforwhichtheygavethelastfullmeasureofdevotion;thatweherehighlyrevolvethatthesedead[Usually"these"shouldbefollowedbyapluralnoun.]shallnothavediedinvain;thatthisnation,underGod,shallhaveanewbirthoffreedom;andthatgovernmentofthepeople,bythepeople,forthepeople,shallnotperishfromtheearth.
7、但是从更广泛的意义上来说,我们无权把这块土地奉献给他们,也无力神圣化这片土地。那些活着的和死去的,曾在这里战斗过的英雄,才使这片土地成为神圣之地,而非我们的微薄之力所能增减。世人不会注意也不会长久记得我们今天在这里说了些什么,但是勇士们在这里做过的事将永远不会被忘记。倒是我们这些活着的人,应该继续英雄们为之战斗并使之前进的未竟事业。我们应该要更加忠诚于先烈为之牺牲的事业,为摆在我们面前的伟大任务继续献身;我们在这里下定决心不能让他们的鲜血白流;这个国家,在上帝的保佑下将获得自由的新生。这个民有、民治、民享的政府将与世长存。
8.That'ssomething.AsoftenasI'vereadthisspeech,gettingalumpinmythroateverytime.I'veneverdetectedonestylisticproblem,muchless13.ShowshowlittleIknow.
8、真是奇迹!每当我阅读这篇演讲词的时候,总感觉心情激动,如鲠在喉。我却从未发现过它有一处文体错误,更不用说它有13处错误了。这表明我的知识何等贫乏啊!
9.ButIsupposewereallyshouldn'texpectanythingbetterfromsomeonewhogrewupinalogcabin,hoofedtoaoneroomschoolhouseandnevermadeittocollege.
9、但是,我们不应该苛求一个在小木屋里长大,徒步到那所只有一间屋子的学校上学,后来也没有上成大学的人,他也不可能把话讲得再好了。
10.Wemightremember,though,thatAbeLincolnwasatastylisticdisadvantagewhenhewrotehisGettysburgAddress.Thepoorguydidn'thavea"Help"keytopush.
10、然而,我们也许应当记住:亚伯·林肯写葛底斯堡演讲稿时,他实在没有很好的条件来讲求文体修辞。可怜的家伙那时并没有计算机上的“求助”键可使用。