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为什么中国家庭不说我爱你?

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2014-07-24

Why don't Chinese families use those words? Theories revolve around the nature of Confucian teaching. "The parents' responses show that many Chinese are not good at expressing positive emotions," Xia Xueluan, a Sociologist from Peking University, told the Global Times. "They are used to educating children with negative language."

为什么中国家庭不说这句话呢?普遍的观点认为是受到儒家思想的影响。“父母们的反应表明大部分的中国人不擅长表达积极的情感,” 北京大学社会学家夏学銮对《环球时报》的记者说。“他们习惯用负面的语言来教育孩子。”

This isn't the first time that China has done some soul-searching about familial love — last year China Daily asked a cross-section of people if they said 'I love you' to their parents, spouses, and children. "I have never said 'I love you' to my family, and I don't think I will in the future," one 56-year-old told the paper. "Saying it aloud is embarrassing for me."

这不是中国第一次做关于亲情方面的自省——去年《中国日报》就各个阶层的人进行了采访,询问他们是否对父母、爱人和孩子说过“我爱你”。“我从来没对我的家人说过‘我爱你’,我觉得我以后也不会说,”一名56岁的被采访者回答《中国日报》的记者。“把这句话说出口,我会觉得很难为情的。”

Still, that doesn't mean that love can't be expressed. In a separate article, China Daily spoke to Zhao Mengmeng, a 31-year-old woman who said she had never told her father she loved him face-to-face ("I find it a bit odd"). Sometimes actions speak louder than words, however — Zhao gave her father, a photo album featuring photographs of them together on almost every one of her birthdays in June 2012. The pictures went viral online, being forwarded hundreds of thousands of times on Weibo.

然而这并不是说爱就无法表达。在另一篇文章中,《中国日报》采访了31岁的赵萌萌,她说她从来没当面对她爸爸说过她爱他。(“我觉得那样会怪怪的”)。但有时行动胜于言辞——赵萌萌在2012年六月送给了她爸爸一个相册,里面装满了他们两人在她每年生日时的合影。照片在网上火了起来,在微博上被转发了几十万次。

"I didn't sleep the night I heard about it," her father told China Daily after the story attracted mainstream attention. "I have now memorized some of the comments on the collection of pictures."

“当我知道时,我一晚上没睡,” 在这件事受到了主流媒体的关注后,她爸爸这样告诉《中国日报》的记者。“现在我还能记起一些照片下面的评论。”

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